The term "gratitude" is commonly used nowadays. In some ways, I feel that its frequent use has somewhat diminished its true meaning, which is ultimately about appreciating what we have rather than what we lack and expressing thankfulness for it.

How often do you find yourself frustrated when stuck in traffic, when the traffic light turns red just as you're about to reach it, or when you misplace your keys or miss the bus, for example? Have you ever paused to appreciate the moments when things went right instead of wrong, those times when everything seemed to be going well?

The true essence of gratitude lies in recognizing more of what is going right, acknowledging it, and feeling thankful as and when it happens. This approach can attract more of what you desire rather than what you don't want.

I understand that for many, gratitude might seem like just another passing trend. However, I want to explain how it has helped and continues to help me overcome painful and traumatic events.

I vividly remember a challenging time when my sister and I were placed in foster care at the age of 9. Despite the difficulty, I consistently reminded myself of our fortune to have a home at all. I told myself that there were people worse off than us, even though we had just been separated from our biological mother. This thought was constantly on my mind.

Looking back, I see that I was actually practicing gratitude. Even at that young age, I could see the positive side of a challenging situation and use it to cope with the emotional pain of being apart from my mother.

A more recent example of gratitude supporting me is through my divorce, another profoundly distressing period in my life. During the darkest moments, I found comfort in remembering all the things I had to be grateful for. I reminded myself that, despite the pain of loss, I needed to focus on what I had gained from the relationship, the lessons I had learned about myself, and the person I had become as a result.

I'm not suggesting that practicing gratitude is easy or that it should come naturally. It's not, and it takes a lot of work. However, when you train your mind to see the positive, to focus on "what is" rather than dwelling on "what isn't," you can increase your resilience, suffer less, and experience more good days as a result.